MANNERS AND MORALS
QMy 77-year-old dad, a widower, recently had a minor fender
bender. Now my brother thinks it’s time to take away his car
keys. Easy for him to say: He’s 1,000 miles away, while I’m just
across town and will end up as Dad’s chauffeur. Plus, I believe my father
is still a safe driver. Any suggestions?
The issue isn’t how your aging dad will get around (not yet, anyway); it’s whether
his vision, alertness and physical fitness impair his driving. You say no, your
brother says yes, and since he’s still living independently, your dad has a vote,
too. Rather than put off this discussion, take a look at the National Highway Traffic
Association’s online tool for assessing senior driving safety (go to nhtsa.gov
and search for “Aging Gracefully”). It provides checklists that you and your dad
can go over to measure his skills now and evaluate changes as they occur. And
remember, when the time comes for him to stop driving, the money saved by no
longer having to insure, maintain, park and gas up a car will easily cover the cost
of taking a few cabs. In short, your reluctance to be your dad’s designated driver
should not be the deciding factor here.
QMy sister is a great mom and an obvious choice as our
children’s guardian, but her husband is a terribly uninvolved
father. Do I have to tell my sister we’re going to name a friend,
or should I keep my mouth shut?
DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO
TO KEEP YOUR TEENS SAFE.
Teens are abusing pills, prescriptions,
and medicines that are easily accessible
in the home. This behavior has many
dangerous outcomes, including possible
death. You have the power to prevent
this. Here’s what you can do:
Safeguard all the prescription drugs in
your home.
Ask friends and family to do the same.
Monitor quantities and control access.
Is your friend really able and willing to accept the job of guardian? Before you
go any further, make sure this is true, since it’s a huge financial and emotional
commitment. Also consider whether you want to sacrifice the benefits of
having your children brought up within your extended family. If, as you say, your
sister is a great mom, I have a hard time imagining there’s anyone more suited
to help your kids cope if they lost their parents prematurely—her substandard
husband notwithstanding. But if you’re still determined to name your friend,
realize that telling your sister is likely to cause bad blood. Granted, not telling
her would do the same, in the unlikely event that both you
and your husband die before your kids are legal adults. On
balance, I’d say the actuarial odds are on your side and you
can safely keep mum.
Set clear rules about drug use and
consequences for breaking them.
Be a good role model by not sharing
prescription medicines.
Properly dispose of old or unneeded
prescription drugs.
